Hustle! – Such a powerful word. I love to hustle. It motivates me. I love the thrill of it. I always imagine myself on top of the game. Be it work, or just life in general. I have always been a magnet of money and success. I have always believed that no matter what goes on in my life (and trust me I got too much) my work is something that never ditched me. It always had my back when nothing else does. There have been times when I was falling apart and what got back me together was my work. It was the pressure of always giving the best, the expectations that people had/have and the responsibilty of living up to the expectation that keeps me going. However, sometimes, it does get too much. I do not remember the last time I took a break and went for a vacation. I have been traveling a lot for my work but of course it doesn’t count. I really think I need to slow down a little bit in terms of work and here are some signs that make me feel the way I do
- Unprepared: I have found myself unready a lot of times lately. As a Master of ceremony, I have to fully prepared of what I need to be in action and holding the crowd. I lack this quality now. I do not have a plan. I take spontaneuos which is helpful at times but not in the long run. I cannot be unprepared and then take last minute decisions because it is just chaotic and not healthy.
- Overwhelmed: I do suffer from anxiety and it has been increasing day by day. Anxiety and panic attacks itself is a big sign for a taking a break. I do get anxious and feel overwhelmed before and after an event. Which is clearly affecting my mental and physical health. Every time I have to host an event, I prefer not doing anything at all. I stay at home all day doing nothing and having regular events means doing nothing for days. I cannot do anything else because I dont want clutter my mind with any more thoughts and let it deal with work alone. There is no room for any more drama.
- Tired: Walking 3 floors to my house in the building itself is a task. I am tired all day even when I just clearly mentioned that I do not do anything else when I have an event. I still feel extremely tired, sleepy and lethargic right before going on the stage. Again taking a toll on my health and well being. A well rested worker is a happy worker and that means you need some rest.
- Irritable: Small small things irritate me. I phone call, a message, people around me, I just want to be by myself. I do not appreciate any disturbance and so I have been avoiding meetings as well. Some times even when I know it could be helpful for my show. I remember I used to insist a meeting few days before the event in order to give my best in the event but now I have all the excuses ready to cancel the meetings and take all the updates just before the event. Well, some times I do have genuine reasons why I cant have a meeting with the client though.
- No Motivation: The only thing that motivates me to take up new events is because I have a shopping list that I maintain and I know I need money to buy those stuff. That is not enough or the right motivation IMO. Money should not be the reason you work but you need to have an ambition. I do not feel the urge or the interest and I am working just because I have to or because people want me to. This is not the lifestyle that I would want to have.
Slowing down once in a while is not lazy. Too much work will only derail you faster than anything else. If you break down, so does everything else that you have been working on. I know I have to slow down not because I feel it is important but also because I deserve it. In order to give my best again, I have to re-evaluate myself. All for a healthy lifestyle.